Engaged to Be Married? Tips and Ideas to Help You Plan the Perfect Celebration!

Congratulations! You're Engaged...!

...and about to embark on the exciting journey and often overwhelming process of planning a wedding! Your wedding celebration will most likely be the biggest and most important 'party' you have ever put together. So, take a deep breath, and follow our list of what to do next!

Number One (and most importantly) - Enjoy being engaged! Say 'I Love You' to each other a million times and then shout from the rooftops "We're engaged!" Make sure you take plenty of pictures of yourselves with the engagement ring, they will make great shots for you to use when you start planning your engagement announcements, wedding stationary and invites later on.

Tell your parents and family - If they don't already know, make sure the first people you tell are your parents and those close to you so that they too can share in your excitement. It will be great for them to see how happy you are and to help you with the beginnings of your great adventure and planning your big day.

Announce Your Engagement - Tell everyone the good news! There are so many ways of doing this and the best way will be by announcing your engagement party! Put your heads together and practice for the big day by organising a gathering of your family and friends to celebrate!

You can design your own invitations with a picture of you both looking extremely happy! Or use images of you and the ring, colours for the theme of the party and much more - the possibilities are endless.

Set the Date - One of the most important decisions you will make as you plan your wedding is the date itself. This may be a year from the day of your engagement or another date that is special to you. Once you have decided on the date you can start the planning...

Send Save the Dates - Wedding Save the Dates are generally sent out six to twelve months before the wedding date, and are usually followed by a formal Wedding Invitation. You can create so many stylish designs and there are hundreds of themes to choose from including, floral, cartoon, woodland rustic, garden, beach, location and formal designs. Save the Dates are a modern keepsake that your guests can cherish and not throw away, there are some truly unique ways to announce your wedding or event to family and friends and make sure that they keep your big day free in their diary months ahead of receiving their official invite. If you were feeling clever and looking to save a little money on stamps you could always combine the invites to your engagement party and your save the date all in one hit!

Engagement Party Ideas!

Anyone invited to your engagement party should ultimately be invited to your wedding, so the size of your celebration may be dependent upon your wedding numbers. Whether you have only a select few that you would like to celebrate with or if you fancy a full-on party... here are a few ideas that may help you on your way to the perfect engagement celebration!

Up, up and away... Why not do something completely out of the ordinary and book yourself and your close family & friends onto a Balloon ride. Make sure you go for the champagne special for a real treat, take along a picnic and a few extra drinks too!

Top up anyone...? Gather your closest group of friends and book onto a wine tour! There are so many fantastic wineries in Australia that you will be spoilt for choice. I am sure that there will be a spot nearby for a day trip or you could even go interstate for a weekend away! Whichever you choose, make sure that you tag on a couple of breweries too!

Shake things up... With a wild cocktail party, this would work for both a small group with some homemade concoctions or if you fancied something bigger at a swanky bar in town. Either way, make sure that your party has a cocktail theme to suit your venue and some funky decorations!

Grab your ice box... For a Casual BBQ or Beach Party celebration call up your family and friends and get everyone to bring some meat and beer on ice! Let everyone know the time and place so that you can rendezvous at your favourite beach side barbeque. Be sure to pack plenty of sunscreen for the ultimate beach engagement.

Something Formal... Looking for something a little more formal, then why not book a swanky restaurant or your favourite eatery for your family and friends. If you have large numbers coming then you could consider a gift on the tables that is a combined place card so that everyone knows where they are sitting?

Once you have picked your theme for your party the only thing left to do is enjoy yourselves...! oh and prepare for the next steps to planning your wedding...

The After Party; Steps to planning your wedding...

Now that you have organised your engagement party, set a date and sent your 'save the dates' you can get stuck into the planning of your big day! Here are a few more pointers for what comes next!

Choose Your Bridesmaids - Bridesmaid choice will be different for everyone, some will have one special friend or sister and others will have a bunch of best mates, you could even choose a 'Man of Honor' if you had a close male friend or brother that you wanted to get involved! You are of course the best person to make the choice, you know who will be excited to get stuck into the wedding planning alongside you and who would have a better time as a guest.

Buying Your Dress - If you have enough time between your engagement and your wedding the recommendation is to buy your wedding dress six to eight months before the big day. That way you will have no drama close the wedding! The dress will be a personal choice and there are so many different styles, colours and tastes to choose from - consider your wedding theme when you select the dress, perhaps you have a black and white theme in mind and can tailor your outfit to match.

Choosing the Bridesmaid Dresses - It is more than likely that your theme or colours will be based around your bridesmaid dresses, so once you have decided on a final look and feel for your wedding you can start looking for the perfect dresses. Trends worn by celebrities on the red carpet is a great place to start for what's hot and what's not! Whether you go for bold and striking colours or subtle taupe or champagne, I am sure you will find the perfect dress for each of your girls!

Your Seating Chart - Depending on the number of guests you have coming, the venue, and how you have planned your big day will depend on whether you will need to organise a seating plan. If you do have a formal dinner arranged then you may like to consider how you will display your guest names, will they be dotted on the tables as a combined gift or bomboniere idea?!

Choosing Your Flowers - Book your florist early and check for the latest trends in flower types, bouquets and colours to help you decide on what will be best for your wedding, make sure that the flowers and colours you choose will be available at the time of year you plan to get married.

The First Dance - Choosing Your Song! - You may already know what song you will choose, perhaps it is the song that was playing when you got engaged or the first track that you danced to together?! Whatever song you choose will be special to you.. you can even consider subtly using the words somewhere in your wedding decorations or invitations as a running theme for the day!

Planning Your Honeymoon - It once was traditional to leave for your honeymoon straight after the reception or the day after your wedding, lots of couples are now waiting until a few weeks or even months after to give a little more time to save for their dream holiday! Your honeymoon should be a place that is magical and special to you both so that you can embark on a fabulous trip and a lifelong journey together!

About the Author, Gemma Barritt is Marketing Manager at Coolaz Stubby Holders.

Original article

Getting Engaged - How You Can Make Sure You Get The Engagement Ring Of Your Dreams

You have been talking about getting married for month now and you are pretty sure that your future husband has started looking at rings because he keeps giving you little hints. So how can you make sure he picks out the ring you want? If you are worried that he might not pick exactly what you were hoping for we have come up with a couple ideas below of how you can give him a little help.

Not So Subtle Hints - Depending on your personality as well as your boyfriend's personality you can leave not so subtle hints for him around the house such as jewelry magazines opened with rings circled you like. So if you don't mind being a little bold you can even go as far a giving him pictures of your favorite solitaire.

Create A Ring Together - Some couples find it fun to create their own wedding ring design from scratch. You will need to spend the time to find a jeweler that you like and one that is easy to work with because the process can take a long time but once you do you and your soon to be fiancé can put your heads together to create a one of a kind masterpiece.

Shop Together - If you want to be surprised but also want to make sure you get what you want shopping together can be a great way of eliminating styles you don't like as well as pointing out styles you do like. Once you have narrowed it down to just a couple rings you really like or hey even just one you like you can let him surprise you with it when he is ready.

Send Your Sister With Him - For those of you that like surprises but want to make sure he finds something that you like you can send him with a sister or a trusted friend. If you trust your sister because you both have similar tastes you can nicely mention to your boyfriend that he might want to take your sister shopping when he goes. That way you can still be extremely surprised but have someone you trust and knows your tastes to make sure you will love the ring he chooses.

So no matter if you want to leave a subtle hint of what type of ring you would like or if are ok with using a little more obvious a tactic you should be able to find something that works for you. So sit back and relax and enjoy being in love and by using the tips from above you will make sure you love your ring.

Eric S Mortensen specializes in weddings, especially pocket wedding invitations. Find the perfect wedding invitation for your wedding.

Original article

Get Engaged in Italy - Proposing Over A Slice Of Pizza

If you are thinking about asking that special person to be a part of your life forever, one of the best and most romantic locations on earth has to be the country of Italy. There are many different locations to go to for just the right spot. However, the foremost location may be the most romantic ever. That is the city of Venice, Italy. Venice, known as the city of canals, or the city that floats, is surrounded by saltwater where travel on a water bus, otherwise known as a gondola can be a wonderful way to see the sites. Definitely, renting a water bus, taking a picnic lunch and some wine would be just the romantic set up for that special someone.

Another good choice to pop the question is to travel to the romantic Italian countryside, perhaps to Tuscany. Good wine and simple, but excellent food makes this a wonderful choice for an engagement. Tuscany is known as one of the most beautiful artistic centers in all of Italy, with the city of Florence as its capital. Tuscany is in the center of Italy and has been home to some of the world's most famous individuals such as; Michelangelo and Leonardo di Vinci.

If you want to relax in the surf and the sun, either prior to or after your engagement, the Italian Rivera may be the correct choice for you. The white sandy beaches and the beautiful and quaint seaside villages perched into the hillsides make a wonderful, romantic backdrop for the big event, getting engaged. Off of the island of Capri, one can take a boat ride on the beautiful blue waters, after your engagement to toast the beginning of your lives together.

If your girlfriend is interested in fashion, choosing to become engaged in the city of Milan could fit the bill. Milan is considered of the world's most famous high fashion locale. Milan is one of Italy's largest cities and offers a great deal to do, other than shop for fashion. Food in Milan is much different than most tourists will think of when thinking of eating in Italy. Milan residents eat more rice than pasta and almost nothing with tomatoes in it, preferring veal to other meats, etc.

If you are down to earth person and wish for a simpler, less fussy location to pop your question, try the city of Naples. Naples is well known for its many pizza parlors. Getting engaged could be as simple as ordering a pizza and proposing over a slice.

Barrie is a social blogger writing about what ever is on his mind at that moment in time. With a number of years experience in blogging and article writing, thought it only right to share what's on his mind.

Living and working in the UK on a number of social media campaigns, Barrie is an enthusiastic and dedicated social media consultant with an eye on current and future trends and activities.

Original article

Excitedly Engaged With a Hint of Doubt

"There is a way that seems right (good)... but in the end it leads to death."
Proverbs 14:12(emphasis added)

I dated a good guy for several years, started when I was about 14 years old. From a worldly perspective, he was good in every sense of the word. He was good looking -tall, dark, and handsome! Additionally, there was no doubt in my mind he'd be a good provider for our prospective family! He was career minded, having job offers even before eventually graduating with a business degree. He was good at handling money too. He spoiled me with what he made, and not just with material items. His actions were always kind; he was consistently gentle and respectful toward me.

He had a nice, loving family to boot. You've heard it said, "you marry your in-laws too!" Well, I had it made in the shade with my prospective in-laws. They accepted me as if I was there own for years. I remember his mom cooking every meal as if I would be there, lending a listening ear whenever I needed to talk, and helping me get ready for college. His family supported and encouraged me on every occasion; I never doubted whether they would be in attendance at celebration ceremonies such as my high school and college graduations, homecoming queen ceremony, or ball games at which I cheered.

Even the timing of our relationship was good. Things at my home had gotten progressively worse over the years with quite the unthinkable occurring about the time we began dating. When things got crazy, his family provided a nice escape for me. The normalcy in their home was refreshing. I was welcomed with open arms anytime I showed up to their house, day or night. Initially, I had no doubt I would someday marry into the family of the career minded, good-looking, capable, respectful guy who spoiled me!

But there was one great problem which I didn't see as great at the time. The problem was spiritual! You see, I had been saved at a young age, literally asking God to "be my daddy" one night when things were chaotic at home. The Lord had been faithful, stepping into my life granting me the peace and security every person craves. However, the closer I got to my boyfriend, the further I strayed from the Lord and His ways. I eventually traded the unsurpassable peace that only Jesus gives for a false security that physical intimacy with my boyfriend provided. At a very young age, my boyfriend and I began having sex.

Over the years, it had been super easy to justify doing something so wrong that felt so right! With the promise ring he'd given me eventually replaced by a beautiful engagement ring, eight years into the relationship we found ourselves getting ready to pursue our plans to be married and start a family. However, amid the excitement, a deep down nagging feeling of doubt within me persisted. I caught myself wondering if I had given God the opportunity to bless me with The One He intended me to marry. I also wondered if my motives to marry were pure. Was marriage simply the next step I was taking to justify sexual sin? I decided to ask God.

God's response to my heartfelt prayers shocked me. "Flee from sexual immorality..." rang through my spirit. I'd known several people who'd married to make it right, but the Lord continually confirmed I was not to do so. After much prayer, I broke off the engagement and set out to be sex free for a while. With God's help, I was successful. After taking several huge steps of faith to remove myself from temptation, I grew closer to the Lord Jesus and found myself at peace once again.

Soon after I'd completely removed myself from sexual sin, I attained what I'd never dreamt possible, contentment as a single person! Not too long after that, the Lord seemingly moved Heaven and earth to gift me with The One I know I was meant to marry! The result of my faithful obedience and trust in God alone soon revealed that my good plans for marriage had paled in comparison to the man God desired to gift me. Oh I still believe to this day that I could've married the good fiancé I dated for years; I might've even had a decent life. However, to know beyond the shadow of a doubt I married the person God designed specifically for me, well, is indescribable! I will never regret having surrendered my good engagement to God, testing His faithfulness, and waiting His way for marriage!

What about you? Are you fully and completely convinced the person to whom you are about to wed is The Absolute One God has for you to marry, or is there a hint of doubt resting at the bottom of your heart? If any unrest is present, I beg you to get alone with God, call off the wedding, and find contentment in Christ alone. Only when you realize and choose to rest in God's great love toward you, will you believe that the marriage plan God has for your life is better than the seemingly good plan you've been pursuing! I urge you to fully surrender your good dreams to "the one who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)," to the one who longs to replace your doubt with "the peace that surpasses all understanding!" (Philippians 4:7) Remember these words next time you ponder walking down the wedding aisle, "total peace means go; doubt means no!"

© 2011 Dani Miser, Author of Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man (Deep River Books, 2010)

Dani is a Christian author and speaker whose ministry exists to encourage others to honor God with all of their lives, especially in the area of relationships. She writes on a regular basis with her most recent articles being published in YouthWorker Journal Magazine, CBN.com, Archsa.org, WebBiblia.com, and the Healing Hope Herald. Her latest book, Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man: Facing the Consequences of Unhealthy Relationships has been featured on television and radio broadcasts such as WATC-TV Atlanta and Canada's Most Listened to Spiritual Talk Show. For additional biography or ministry information, please visit http://www.getalifeministries.blogspot.com/

Original article

Saying Congratulations To A Newly Engaged Couple

Expressing your happiness and your feelings to a newly engaged couple is very important! Words of happiness, love and congratulations for a wedding engagement are best when these words come from the heart. In some cases, people prefer to write a message about the newly engaged couple, however, this can be difficult especially if you are not good with words. Here you can try these simple tips on how to express your happiness for the newly engaged couple. There are simple methods to let them know how much you care for the both of them. However, saying these words can be tricky so if that's the case, you can send them out by using SMS, e-mail, letter, or card.

Couple who will be having an engagement will surely be so happy to hear words of happiness, support, love, and thoughtfulness. There are so many ways to send your engagement wishes for your beloved friends. You may send these messages and wishes through SMS, e-mail, letter, or card. You can even make a designed item for them. You can be creative in sending these wishes to the engaged couple. Here are few of the engagement wishes you could use!

• Friends, congratulations on your engagement! We hope you'll be happy together. Stay in love!

• We wish your life to be as happy as today, on the day of your engagement. Congratulations to you both!

• From this day of your engagement until the forever may your life be full of genuine love! We are happy for the both of you!

• How can you not be in high spirits for people so much in love? Happy engagement! I am happy for you! Congratulations!

• Hold close to life and love in this new stage in togetherness. Enjoy your day!

• Growing old with the love of your life has got to be the greatest and the supreme feeling in the world.

• You've started with the engagement and now it's time for the wedding preparation. I wish you both endurance to get to that special day, and love to last a lifetime! Wish you more love!

• The beauty of love is that you get to share it together. May that love be as strong and lovely in 50 years as it is today on your engagement. Have blissful years ahead!

• Engagement is the moment between two people that makes them truly understand how important they are to each other. This is the time to cherish. Happy engagement!

Get more facts about engagement wishes so you can get more ideas on how to create funny engagement sayings

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10 Signs You Are Ready to Get Engaged

You both are openly talking about your future together. Dreaming about your future is different from talking about how things will work in your life together. Talking about getting married is exciting, so is planning out how your lives will merge. Be sure to get clear about things like how you will handle the holidays, children, finances, merging your two homes, dealing with family and in-laws, etc. Getting engaged should be a mutual decision and choice to be discussed and planned jointly.
You feel completely comfortable with your partner. Talking and sharing about everything openly without concern in your relationship is very important. Complete honesty without secrets is a must in a marriage. You must be able to share your deepest feelings, triggers, hang ups, faults, mistakes while feeling supported and loved without feeling guilt, shame, or neglect.
You feel completely safe in this relationship. Being accepted and loved no matter what is a key to success in a marriage. Not feeling threatened in any way and knowing you are taken care of by your partner contributes to feeling safe.
You know that you and your relationship is a priority to and for each other. Making each other and your relationship a priority takes effort and commitment. Lives get very busy with careers and children, so go ahead, schedule your date night for every week starting now making romance and intimacy a part of your weekly routine.
There is no pressure or pushing for a future - it just happens organically and naturally. If you find yourself pushing for an engagement ring or commitment for marriage, be sure fear of losing your partner or some other external need or influence is not driving it. Allowing your relationship to develop organically while exploring the idea of marriage will bring your engagement date closer to you. Pressing for a date or ring will create delay and unnecessary pressure on your relationship.
You do not worry or experience any anxiety about your relationship. Worrying about what your partner is or is not doing is an unhealthy activity. If this is a pattern in your relationship, maybe it is time to reconsider whether or not this is a healthy relationship for you or not.
No game playing or manipulation or control - you both are free with each other to be who you are. Using manipulative language, lying, or involving others to get your partner to do or say something is very unhealthy. Instead learn how to ask for what you need and want, allow the space for finding a mutually acceptable solution, and stand in the space of authenticity.
You don't spend time convincing yourself, your friends, or family that this is the relationship for you. There is no need to convince your friends and family that your partner is the 'Bomb' as they will see that for themselves. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, your friends and family will let you know. Pay attention to what they say instead of defending your relationship. Friends and family love to interfere in relationship drama but you should still consider their opinions in your assessment of your relationship simply because they do care for your welfare and well-being.
You don't defend each other or your relationship with friends or family. The reason you find yourself defending your partner is because you've been complaining about them behind their back. Find someone else, a professional Relationship Coach perhaps, to share your thoughts and concerns. This gives you an objective outside resource that will not interfere in your relationships with friends, family or your partner.
You truly accept and love each other for who you. Accepting each other's differences and for who you both are is the sweet spot of love. Maintain individuality while joining each other in the relationship for a sustainable relationship.

Instead of wondering if s/he will ever propose causing unnecessary anxiety, impatience, and potential conflict in your relationship, why not just be sure. Have clarity, certainty and peace in knowing about your future with the one you love.

Dr. Dar invites you to visit her website http://www.drdar.com/ to claim your free gift: Fearless Dating for Singles who want to re-enter the dating world and find love; Couples who want to solve the communication problems or conflict in their relationship.

Original article

Topics That Every Engaged Couple Should Discuss

When you're engaged, probably the last thing that thinking about are the topics that every engaged couple really should cover. Quite understandably your focus is on the wedding and that fact that you will spend the rest of your life with your fiancé. It's easy to forget that this is you final opportunity to make sure that everything is right between you and that neither of you have any significant concerns. A wedding is one day, your marriage will be for the rest of your life. This list of topics that I have is by no means exhaustive but it make a fair final checklist of the major issues.

Why are you getting married

If you are getting married it has to be for the right reason otherwise it will not work. You both have to want this because you love and care for each other, and there is no-one on this planet that you would rather share your lives with. You have to be committed to each other and the marriage. You need to be compatible and ideally have some shared interests, and additional something that can help you grow together. Wanting to get married because all your friends are, you are lonely, pregnant, or looking for financial security (to name but a few) are no good reasons.

You might hope that your fiancé is going to change for the better after you get married. If their behaviour shows a lack of respect to you now when you are engaged, then it won't change when you are married, if anything it will get worse.

Shared vision

Make sure that you both have similar ideas as to how your marriage should work and develop. If you both have different expectations that cannot be reconciled then you are in for a bumpy ride to the divorce court.

Are you jealous or an insecure person

Jealous people are typically insecure people, and jealousy can make your marriage a living nightmare. Getting married does not cure jealousy, in fact it probably makes it worse. If your fiancé suffers from jealousy then you need to help them come to terms with it, and deal with it, before you get married and not after.

Can you and do you communicate

I keep saying this, but without communication you have no connection, you have no relationship, and no marriage. You have to be able to talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, problems, hopes and dreams, your wants and needs, if you cannot do that then how can you help and support each other, how can you get to know each other? And just how do you expect to make your marriage to develop and grow if you cannot share your lives like this? In the U.S 67.5% of all divorces cited a breakdown in communication as the driving force behind their divorce. If you can't communicate then don't get married, the divorce attorneys have enough work to handle as it is.

And do you listen

It can be very difficult to really listen to someone. If we're criticized we go on the defensive and we can miss what's being said, otherwise our mind starts thinking about how to reply, and yet again we can miss what's being said. If your fiancé has something to say then you should want to know it, if it is something that is important to them then it is important to you. So focus on your fiancé and listen.

Are you carrying baggage

If you are carrying baggage from previous relationships or marriages, then you need to get closure on all of your issues before you get married! Talk to your fiancé about it to see if they can help. If you get married with the ghosts of pervious failures still haunting you then they poison your marriage, and you could lose out of the chance of happiness.

What about time together

When you have kids this will be even more difficult to find but you have to spend time together enjoying yourselves. Spending quality time together helps to strengthen your bond and to build a treasure-house of shared experiences. It can be something extravagant as a fancy vacation, or it can be as simple as going for a coffee, it doesn't matter what, just so long as you are enjoying your time together.

Your own space

You both have your own lives, your friends and interests, your own way of recharging your batteries. You need to be happy giving each other their own space. Spending time doing your own things is good for the marriage, it helps to develop you as a person, gives you fresh perspectives and ideas, and can give you plenty of gossip to talk about.

What about money

Are you both working or just one of you. Who pays what bills, do you have a joint account or a single account, do you work to a budget, are you managing debts, are you saving for a place of your own or the future. Money can be a seriously contentious issue, so make sure that you know who does what before you say, I do.

A family of your own

At some point it is likely that you will want to have children. You need to have an idea as to when and how many you would like. You also need to decide who stays at home to look after them. In these days of economic uncertainty it's probably best that the highest earning spouse carries on working, and if that's the mother, then could you manage that? Do you already have children maybe already living with you, or living with an ex, how are you going to manage that.

The dreaded In-Laws

Now your in-laws could be really nice people who don't try to interfere in your lives, and then again they might not. They are your fiancé's parents so at some point you are going to have to make contact with them. How much contact are you going to have with your in-laws, will it be once in a while, or will it be a case of, don't they have a home of their own to live in! While you will always be your parents children, you are now husband and wife in your own family unit and before your parents and even your children, your first loyalty is to your spouse.

How do you deal with conflict

Do you have lots of arguments where you shout and scream at each other, blame each other, drag up faults and past arguments, and generally behave like little children have a tantrum? Or, do you behave like adults, who recognizing that they have a problem talk it through and try to deal with it in a way that both of you are happy? If one of you does something that upsets the other do you take responsibility for your actions and apologize? Being human we are all prone to make mistakes, admittedly some are more serious than others, but are you able to forgive their human frailty and move on?

Can you accept

Being in love with someone means being able to accept them for who they are, the good and the bad. Are you able to accept your fiancé for who they are or do you feel compelled to change them into someone who they are not, destroy their individuality, and change them from the person that you fell in love with?

Do you tell them

Each and every day that you have been together have you been able to tell your fiancé how much you love and appreciate them?

There you have it, 14 topics that every engaged couple really should discuss before committing to each other. Your engagement is your final opportunity to make sure that you are compatible with each other. If you are not compatible then don't do it, it's not worth the pain and grief that you will go through, find someone who you can be truly happy with. If you are compatible then I sincerely hope that you live happily ever after.

Everyone wants to find someone special, some to give meaning and purpose to your life. Unfortunately things do not always work out and you are faced with situations that could wreck your relationship, and ruin something special. Okay, so it could be the natural end of your relationship, but if you want to try and save your relationship and get your life back on track then go to http://www.reviewthemagicofmakingup.com/.

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What You Should Know Before You Get Engaged

Couples that are in the dating stage need to do more than just have fun, they need to learn about their partner. It takes time and effort to do that effectively. It is a mistake to wait to do that until you are engaged. It also requires some targeted work as well. It isn't something to do randomly. There are certain things you should know ahead of time to help you make the decision whether you want to marry this person. At the same time, it isn't as much about finding the right person as it is being the right person. So make sure you approach this with the right attitude. If you are just looking for reasons to eliminate candidates, you'll always find those reasons.

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

What is the depth of your knowledge of your partner? How long have you known your partner before marriage? There is a relationship between these factors and how satisfied you will be in marriage. The deeper and longer you know someone before marriage, the better chance you'll be satisfied in marriage. I would say there are limits to the length of time that will provide benefits. One to two years is a good guideline. This is because you will understand your partner better and understand your couple strengths and weaknesses over that period of time with the depth at which you have explored.

Ask lots of questions. Ask questions that are hard to answer, and answer them yourself. You can ask these questions now, or discover the answers later. If you don't like the answer later, you may put yourself in a difficult position. If you learn the answers now, you have the choice to accept that answer or not. There are a number of question books on the market for couples and they all are useful. The more questions you can ask, the better chance you leave no stone unturned and the less likely you'll get a surprise after marriage.

Don't ignore red flags when you get them. Realize at the same time that there is no perfect mate. There will be a degree of compromise. So you have to decide what you can live with. Don't fall into the trap of thinking they will change later, or that they have a lot of potential. Don't be a reformer. The question is also whether you will fit the other person's criteria. Look for consistency in their answers over time. Interact with friends and family and make note of red flags that come up. Find out how the other person handles pressure. Build a real friendship, pray together, have similar interests and values. Know the other person's faults and know that you can accept them. Right up to the last minute before the wedding, be willing to call it off if you know deep inside that something isn't right. Get premarital counseling to bring things to the surface that otherwise wouldn't come out. Make sure it is quality counseling. Don't assume anything.

Know That You Are Certain

If you are having mixed feelings about getting engaged, then don't do it. Getting engaged is a serious step. Dating is one thing, but signing up for a lifetime is another. It is normal to have cold feet, but know the difference between that and ignoring the signs that you are basically unsure. Don't feel pressured.

Identify the nonnegotiables beforehand. Don't get involved with someone who abuses you. Don't get involved with someone who is controlled by their parents. Don't think that your marriage will fix problems that currently exist. Get those things fixed before you get engaged. Don't get engaged if you can't talk about your feelings and your needs. It won't get easier. The wedding lasts one day, but the marriage is for life.

If you can't resolve your disagreements completely before you are married, it won't get better after you are married. Living together before marriage will hurt your chances of success. Don't marry a person who treats you like a child. If your partner acts interested in your interests and activities but doesn't like you spending time on them, this won't get better later. Don't marry for sex, you also need social, spiritual, intellectual, recreational and emotional intimacy too. Can you spend a whole day just hanging out with your partner? If not, that spells trouble. Have either of you not resolved a previous relationship and recovered from it? Does your partner suffer from an addiction? That won't change. The ways you are opposite that are cute now will be a pain in the neck later. And this just names a few things to look for.

Only you can decide, but be sure.

Jim Anderson is a worship leader in South Orange County, California, and is a member of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest California. He holds both a Bachelor of Business Administration in Finance and a Masters of Religious Studies. Rev. Jim also owns a financial services business and performs premarital counseling as well as customized weddings. If you or someone you know is getting married, be sure to check out his website http://www.weddingsthatlast.com/

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You're Engaged! Now What?

The moment you've waited for has finally arrived. The man of your dreams has asked you to be his wife. Whether it was sudden or a long time coming, it's what you've waited your whole life for: finding your other half. And it is definitely a time for celebration. It's also a very busy time.

Putting on a wedding is quite an endeavor. It can be quite time-consuming and many brides quickly find themselves overwhelmed and stressed out. But that need not be the case. With ample planning, allocation of time, and a hand tool-such as this one-to guide you, you can have the wedding of your dreams without turning into Bridezilla. This is important since many grooms-to-be report becoming alarmed by their fiancees in the throes of wedding planning madness. The last thing you want is your future husband re-thinking his proposal in the midst of planning your nuptials.

None of this is helped by the fact that within literal moments of the time you share the news with anyone else, people will be begin peppering you with questions. After everyone finishes asking you, 'How did he pop the question?' and 'Did he get down on one knee?' they will move quickly to questions about the Big Day. From 'Have you set a date?' to 'How many bridesmaids are you having?' your head will spin with the array of decisions you are now expected to make.

Often this is overwhelming for the new couple because they themselves have not yet begin considering these questions. Many betrothed couples first fight of their engagement period is provoked by questions by friends, family members, and coworkers. The bride-to-be turns to her intended and begins peppering him with the same questions she herself is being bombarded with and a conflict ensues as a result of the pressure both parties are feeling. Some couples know their timeline right away. Other couples just want to enjoy being engaged for a while before jumping into wedding planning.

When are facing questions that you and your fiance have not yet discussed or established clear answers to, simply smile and say, 'We're just enjoying being engaged right now.' This should be your answer even if you and your husband-to-be are in the midst of a knock-down-drag-out combat about timelines, locations, or colors, present a united front. You definitely do not want to stir up rumors or speculation about the future of your relationship. Additionally, you do not want to have someone mention your private conflicts to your future husband, who may feel betrayed that you've put the business of your relationship out for public consumption. So, it's best to simply leave other people out of the details of your wedding-at the very least until the two of you have definitively settled on them. Once deposits are made, you can consider decisions final. Let that be the clearance to share information with other people.

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