"There is a way that seems right (good)... but in the end it leads to death."
Proverbs 14:12(emphasis added)
I dated a good guy for several years, started when I was about 14 years old. From a worldly perspective, he was good in every sense of the word. He was good looking -tall, dark, and handsome! Additionally, there was no doubt in my mind he'd be a good provider for our prospective family! He was career minded, having job offers even before eventually graduating with a business degree. He was good at handling money too. He spoiled me with what he made, and not just with material items. His actions were always kind; he was consistently gentle and respectful toward me.
He had a nice, loving family to boot. You've heard it said, "you marry your in-laws too!" Well, I had it made in the shade with my prospective in-laws. They accepted me as if I was there own for years. I remember his mom cooking every meal as if I would be there, lending a listening ear whenever I needed to talk, and helping me get ready for college. His family supported and encouraged me on every occasion; I never doubted whether they would be in attendance at celebration ceremonies such as my high school and college graduations, homecoming queen ceremony, or ball games at which I cheered.
Even the timing of our relationship was good. Things at my home had gotten progressively worse over the years with quite the unthinkable occurring about the time we began dating. When things got crazy, his family provided a nice escape for me. The normalcy in their home was refreshing. I was welcomed with open arms anytime I showed up to their house, day or night. Initially, I had no doubt I would someday marry into the family of the career minded, good-looking, capable, respectful guy who spoiled me!
But there was one great problem which I didn't see as great at the time. The problem was spiritual! You see, I had been saved at a young age, literally asking God to "be my daddy" one night when things were chaotic at home. The Lord had been faithful, stepping into my life granting me the peace and security every person craves. However, the closer I got to my boyfriend, the further I strayed from the Lord and His ways. I eventually traded the unsurpassable peace that only Jesus gives for a false security that physical intimacy with my boyfriend provided. At a very young age, my boyfriend and I began having sex.
Over the years, it had been super easy to justify doing something so wrong that felt so right! With the promise ring he'd given me eventually replaced by a beautiful engagement ring, eight years into the relationship we found ourselves getting ready to pursue our plans to be married and start a family. However, amid the excitement, a deep down nagging feeling of doubt within me persisted. I caught myself wondering if I had given God the opportunity to bless me with The One He intended me to marry. I also wondered if my motives to marry were pure. Was marriage simply the next step I was taking to justify sexual sin? I decided to ask God.
God's response to my heartfelt prayers shocked me. "Flee from sexual immorality..." rang through my spirit. I'd known several people who'd married to make it right, but the Lord continually confirmed I was not to do so. After much prayer, I broke off the engagement and set out to be sex free for a while. With God's help, I was successful. After taking several huge steps of faith to remove myself from temptation, I grew closer to the Lord Jesus and found myself at peace once again.
Soon after I'd completely removed myself from sexual sin, I attained what I'd never dreamt possible, contentment as a single person! Not too long after that, the Lord seemingly moved Heaven and earth to gift me with The One I know I was meant to marry! The result of my faithful obedience and trust in God alone soon revealed that my good plans for marriage had paled in comparison to the man God desired to gift me. Oh I still believe to this day that I could've married the good fiancé I dated for years; I might've even had a decent life. However, to know beyond the shadow of a doubt I married the person God designed specifically for me, well, is indescribable! I will never regret having surrendered my good engagement to God, testing His faithfulness, and waiting His way for marriage!
What about you? Are you fully and completely convinced the person to whom you are about to wed is The Absolute One God has for you to marry, or is there a hint of doubt resting at the bottom of your heart? If any unrest is present, I beg you to get alone with God, call off the wedding, and find contentment in Christ alone. Only when you realize and choose to rest in God's great love toward you, will you believe that the marriage plan God has for your life is better than the seemingly good plan you've been pursuing! I urge you to fully surrender your good dreams to "the one who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)," to the one who longs to replace your doubt with "the peace that surpasses all understanding!" (Philippians 4:7) Remember these words next time you ponder walking down the wedding aisle, "total peace means go; doubt means no!"
© 2011 Dani Miser, Author of Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man (Deep River Books, 2010)
Dani is a Christian author and speaker whose ministry exists to encourage others to honor God with all of their lives, especially in the area of relationships. She writes on a regular basis with her most recent articles being published in YouthWorker Journal Magazine, CBN.com, Archsa.org, WebBiblia.com, and the Healing Hope Herald. Her latest book, Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man: Facing the Consequences of Unhealthy Relationships has been featured on television and radio broadcasts such as WATC-TV Atlanta and Canada's Most Listened to Spiritual Talk Show. For additional biography or ministry information, please visit http://www.getalifeministries.blogspot.com/
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