"Two months' salary" is the most quoted answer given to men asking how much to spend on their fiancée's engagement ring. So is this what people are really spending? Well, exact information is very hard to find. But we can look at various statistics and see if they are consistent with the two month rule.
Searching for the average price paid for an engagement ring produces a wide range of results. Between 2007 and 2011, I have seen figures from various sources ranging from $2100 to $6000. So the answer to that seems to be, "it depends who you ask".
A recent survey from XO Group indicates that the average price was $5200 in 2010. That was a survey of 10000 brides and 1000 bridegrooms, so it represents what they say was spent. It seems higher than other estimates. The survey covered all income levels, but it doesn't say whether those levels are in the same proportions as they are in the population - if it isn't the figures will be unrepresentative. Furthermore, average price is not the same as typical price. A small number of purchasers may buy rings of $50k and much more. This will skew the average upwards. In any case, the average male salary in the USA is about $37000. Two months' salary would be $6166. None of the estimates approach this value, and most are a great deal less.
The minimum spent is another indicator. Typical minimum wage in the USA is $7.25. Assuming a 40 hour week, and a 4 week month, a minimum earner would make $2320 in two months. If the rule held, there would be very few, if any engagement rings sold below that price.
The evidence is otherwise. According to National Jeweler, the largest jewelry retailer in the USA is Wal-Mart with $2.8B of annual sales. The indications are that engagement rings selling at less than $1000 are doing very well. This is more evidence that people are not following the two month rule.
Finally, how practical is it? For a low earner, much of their income will be spent on housing, bills, food and clothing. Maybe 10% or less will be "disposable". That means that saving two month's salary will take two years or longer. Two years without any spending beyond the basic needs. An alternative to saving would be going into debt by putting it on a credit card, and with interest, taking even longer to pay for it. Not ideal with wedding and honeymoon expenses on the horizon.
The best solution is to spend what you can afford, right now without going into debt. If you plan to propose in the near future, start saving now. The engagement ring is a gift and a symbol of your love and commitment to a life together. There are both emotional and financial considerations and they are linked. What you spend shows your willingness to make an effort to demonstrate your commitment. But the amount you spend is relative. It would require as much effort for one man to raise $500 as it would for another to raise $5000. And it's the amount of effort that is important emotionally, not the cost in absolute terms.
If your intended believes that it needs to be a $5000 ring, or it's an insult, and your realistic price range with some effort, is $1000, then she needs to get a reality check. Is she is unwilling to then you probably need to question whether you want to be with her long term. Especially if she expects you to go into debt for this.
Many women will gladly accept the ring they are given as an expression of their man's love for them. They will be able to see that you made an effort for them, will appreciate that, and will treasure it for the rest of your lives together. There are many older, clearly affluent women who still wear with pride the modest engagement ring their husbands bought them when they were much younger and much poorer, alongside their more recently acquired stunning jewels. It proudly tells the world how far they have come together!
Michael J Fleming is a consumer advocate and writer with 15 years experience of researching and buying diamonds and fine jewelry. He does not sell diamonds, and prides himself on giving researched, impartial information to those planning to buy engagement rings or other fine jewelry.
If you are planning to buy an engagement ring, be sure to visit www.DiamondsforBeginners.com/ for other useful and impartial information to help you make the perfect choice.
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