As the mother of my best friend once said, "A relationship has to go somewhere." There comes a time in many relationships where the woman feels like she is ready to take the next step and tie the knot, but her boyfriend does not seem interested in marriage. These are some tips on what to do when your boyfriend won't propose.
First of all, take a deep breath! You need to logically assess the situation. Waiting for a proposal is very different if you are 20 years old and have only been together for a year than if you are 35 and have been together for six years. When couples are young or have not been dating a long time, there really is no need to rush into marriage. However, couples who have been together long enough to know that they are compatible may feel differently, especially if you want to have a baby and hear your biological clock ticking. Finances can also come into the picture, particularly if your boyfriend feels like he needs to get a good job before settling down with a wife. Before you say anything to your boyfriend about marriage, it is important to sort through all of these factors.
Let's say that you are both mature adults with solid careers, yet you are still waiting for that bridal jewelry and proposal. Now it is time to decide how long you are willing to wait. Is it critically important to you to get married or would you be comfortable maintaining your current arrangement for the rest of your life? If you feel that marriage is definitely in your future, give yourself a time frame. Maybe if you are not engaged within six months or a year, it is time to cut ties and look for a man who also wants marriage. Obviously, before you do that, you should casually bring up the idea of marriage to your boyfriend. Maybe he doesn't know that it matters to you! Or maybe he just plain does not want to make that sort of commitment - whether he does not want to get married in general or just does not want to marry you isn't really important, because the outcome is the same.
Sometimes women give their boyfriends ultimatums about getting engaged. "If I don't have an engagement ring on my finger by New Year's, I am out of here!" While it is good to have a timeline in your head, it is risky to put that kind of pressure on your beau. What if he does surprise you with the bridal jewelry on New Year's Eve because he is afraid of losing you...all the while knowing in his heart that he is not ready to be a husband? That is not a great way to start a marriage. Rather than give your guy a deadline, just make it clear that you plan for marriage to be a part of your future, and he needs to decide if it is going to be a part of his future. If not, he needs to let you know, so you can move on. It will be heartbreaking in the short term, but it beats waiting around for a proposal year after year!
There is another option if you are tired of waiting for your boyfriend to pop the question: do it yourself! Plenty of women do the proposing in this day and age. It is a sure fire way to find out if he wants to get married or not. Yes, it takes courage to propose, but men have had to work up the nerve to pop the question for hundreds of years. If you really want to take charge of the future of your relationship, proposing marriage to your boyfriend might just be the way to go.
Laura is interested in wedding planning and wedding trends including jewelry, receptions, and gifts. Sign up today for the free http://silverlandjewelry.com/ newsletter to receive exclusive special offers on bridal jewelry, bridesmaid gifts, and more!
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