Before the church bells ring, before you are pronounced "married," there is the minor affair of the proposal and engagement. Is it as simple as two people meet, fall in love, and one says "will you marry me?" Was it ever?
Depending on your culture there may have been some fairly massive hoops to jump through before you ever got to the aisle and in some cases before you even got the ring. As technology continues to shrink our world, most of today's youth are opting for what is considered "Western Engagements," a romantic location, a diamond ring and bended knee.
However, in the not so distant past things were much more complicated. Of course arranged marriages have been a part of the Chinese, Taiwanese, and Indian cultures for centuries. Let us not forget though, that whether it was labeled as "arranged" or not, certainly the European aristocracy and the elite of the Gilded Age in America made sure that the "right" families were joined by marriage.
For the most part arranged marriages in the Far East involved traditions that displayed reverence to parents and ancestors. An exchange of gifts in the Taiwanese engagement ceremony were meant to reflect the worth of the girl and her family. The Japanese engagement ceremony involved each family presenting each other with nine gifts of ancestral significance. The ceremony was completed when the intended groom presented the intended brides' family with one very large gift of significant value. While the ancient Chinese believed in a more practical dowry; which included strings of coins, fruit, poultry, sugar, wine, tobacco and a chamber pot. It may seem a bit unromantic until you consider that in Korean tradition an intended groom would present two large geese to his future in-laws. Although, all things considered, that is quite a bit easier on the groom than the Brazilian practice of a gentleman having to prove himself worthy by taming a wild donkey.
Today, the Brazilians have joined most Europeans in the tradition of presenting a ring, typically a golden band, which is worn on one hand during engagement and then transferred to the opposite hand on the day of the wedding. Which hand depends on which country - Brazilians are engaged with a band on their right hand and switch to the left on the wedding day, for most Europeans the opposite is true. Egyptians also exchange rings which are worn on the right hand during engagement and transferred to the left on the wedding day. However, during the engagement period, Egyptian tradition expects the gentleman to use his time to secure a home and purchase all his future brides' desired appliances for that home. I bet Maytag wished Americans had that tradition.
As the rest of the world decides to become more "Western," the Western world has decided it is not satisfied any longer with a romantic location, a diamond ring and bended knee - it has gone extreme. Yes, for better or worse, extreme proposals seem to be the new tradition. If you don't believe me check out YouTube. From being proposed to at zero gravity, to a gentleman literally setting himself on fire (with proper stunt-man gear) all the while explaining to his girlfriend how she makes him hot. Yes, there are some incredibly cheesy moments involved in some of these extreme proposals. But I guess you are not suppose to pay attention to the actual words when your boyfriend is on fire, or is holding you tight at 20,000 feet, as you pray the parachute actually opens. Techie's and computer geeks even find ways to program proposals into video games - World of Warcraft I am talking about you here. Creative, sure. Expensive, in most cases. Extreme - YES! Redbull sponsorship anyone? It's gotten to the point where skydiving proposals are passé. Originality and physical fitness points to the gentleman that proposed on Everest. Talk about climbing mountains to be with the one you love.
Extreme, traditional, modern, quirky, romantic, whatever the style I assure you that the person at the other end of the words "Will you marry me?" is thrilled no matter what the delivery.
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