With all of the celebrities breaking up and getting back together lately, it seems like second chances are in the air. There is no question that sometimes couples break up for the wrong reasons, and that the second time around can be the charm. There are also times when a relationship ending is for the best. Learn how to decide when you should give a broken engagement a second chance.
Working in a bridal salon, I witnessed more than one broken engagement. Happily, I also saw a few reconciliations. The best wedding planning advice in those situations is that if the marriage is meant to be, you will work out your differences and re-kindle your romance. If that does not happen, just be glad that you broke up before tying the knot. Better a broken engagement than a divorce or a bad marriage.
The couples who renewed their engagements were typically those who broke up because one of them was not quite ready to commit to marriage. They were often younger people, perhaps engaged just out of college. It is easy enough to get swept up in the excitement of bridal jewelry, wedding gowns, and love and then start to get cold feet as the actual wedding day draws near. Sometimes it is very helpful to back off and gain some perspective on the situation. You might even realize that the relationship is indeed the right one for you, just that things needed to progress a little more slowly. That is a situation where giving a broken engagement a second chance can be a good idea after some time has passed.
Some couples call off an engagement because they are working through things from their past or current traumas. The man who proposes shortly after learning his girlfriend has a serious illness might find that she worries he proposed out of pity. The same is true when a couple becomes engaged shortly after losing a loved one. Those doubts can start to set in, and the person affected by the trauma pulls away. If the proposal was offered in the spirit of true love, not out of sympathy, this is a relationship that stands a decent chance of being saved. Time starts to soften the wounds, and the couple start to realize that they have always belonged together.
There are other relationships that should not be renewed. If you broke off your engagement because your fiance was cheating on you, it is best to make a clean break and move on. There is no point in taking back someone who is not trustworthy, and in doing so you might be sending the message that he can treat you badly and get away with it. Definitely not a good thing for a relationship! Other engagements are broken because the man starts to realize that his fiancee is more interested in the trappings of a wedding like fancy gowns and sparkly bridal jewelry than in being married to him. This again is a sign that the engagement should not be renewed.
Not everything is so clear cut when it comes to relationships. Sometimes a man and a woman are just very different people. They might love each other passionately, but also have a lot of conflict caused by their differences. If you broke up during an argument over something silly, there is a possibility that the relationship can be salvaged. The real thing to decide is if you are happier with the other person, despite your differences, or happier and more relaxed away from him or her. Distance and time will help you figure this out. Ultimately, only the pair of you can decide when it is right to give your broken engagement a second chance, and when it is best to go your separate ways.
Ask Bridget for wedding planning advice in areas of relationships, etiquette, or bridal jewelry. She writes numerous articles providing information for the customers of Silverland Jewelry.
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